I've been watching Bond movies since before I was probably old enough to watch them. I remember every time my mom would go on a business trip, our dad would order pizza and pop in a Bond movie taped from those TBS marathons. And we'd munch on our Dominoes, awed at the sight of Roger Moore riding a goddamned hovercraft gondola through Venice like the Fucks Store was closed for the day.
As I grew up, I began to appreciate how fucking retarded that was. And although Moonraker eventually settled into a nice So Bad It's Good niche, other Bond movies have suffered immensely with time and a wiser perspective. Two have not, though: they've only gotten better as I've gotten older.
And that's why I fucking love Timothy Dalton.
This man is wearing polka dots and a flower. And he could still fuck your mother while saving democracy.
I can hear...maybe...okay...maybe half of the Bond fans in the world hungrily stroking their torches and pitchforks, ready to open up a piping hot can of Internet rage.
I, myself, am raging at the fact that Blogger can seemingly undo my posts when I accidentally Ctrl-Z, but not redo them after I've carefully crafted a multi-paragraph defense of Timothy Dalton...and this makes me want to shove a World War II German Potato Masher grenade up Blogger's ass, pull the pin, watch its body explode, then force its dog to consume its remains. Then stick my dick in whatever's left.
But...I digress.
Anywho, I'll do my best to reconstruct and distill what I wrote. Basically, I fucking love everything that Dalton did as James Bond. But I am also a man who counts For Your Eyes Only among my favorite Bond movies. And while it's no Moonraker, it still calls into question my ability to render judgment on which Bond movies are "good", as it were.
And yet, every time I've watched Dalton's Bond, I find myself wondering, "Am I taking crazy pills? He's a fucking badass! He kicks ass like he plays for a professional assball club!" Dalton's Bond was a complex and ambiguous hero, a man who would kill in cold blood, would straight-up murder without compunction. But only professionals, only fellow members of the spy craft or the criminal element. As dark as he got, he wouldn't kill people he deemed "innocent".
The reason, I think? He hated his job.
And this is what made his character more complex and compelling than any Bonds before or since. He was clearly conflicted with is duty and place in the world.
You saw it in The Living Daylights, when he threatened to resign when M bitched at him for NOT shooting a girl. A girl who he could tell right away was clearly not the assassin they thought she was. And you saw it in License to Kill, when Bond chaffed under M's housewife-y whines that you have a license to kill whoever you want, but only the ones we tell you to want.
Like Gimli! Fuck that guy.
And so, in what may be Bond's single most badass moment, decision, and movie, he said, "FUCK YOUR SHIT, M" and decided to single-handedly take down a criminal empire and indirectly or directly got everyone the criminal knew killed or maimed.
I think Dalton is on one side of the Bond spectrum, with Roger Moore on the other side. In For Your Eyes Only, as much as I love it, as Bond is working with Q on the case at hand, I have to admit that Bond gets basically served by the acting M. In reference to a hitman vital to the case getting killed while Bond was watching (though it was completely out of Bond's control) his superior tells him, "Try not to muck it up again, 007...". Moore's response, like a whipped husband to his shrewish wife is, "I'll do my best, sir."
"In all fairness, this spy thing is rather difficult, honey."
Dalton's Bond? Bitch, please. He would have narrowed his eyes, stared at Q, growled "Mind the shop..." Then he would have stormed into M's office, past Moneypenny, who he would probably smack out of the way. He'd pull out his gun, almost pointing it at M (who would win 1st place in the National Pants-Shitting Semifinals) before putting it on the desk and spitting, "With all due respect, sir, if you don't like the way I do things, then you can fire me. But treat me like a damned double-oh, not some MP's joyriding brat."
Bear in mind, I'm fully aware of the more rape-y and sketchy aspects of Dalton's Bond. I don't excuse them, but I chalk them up to Dalton's interpretation of Bond as based on the character's depiction in the novels, as well as the values of the era in which his films were made. Dalton simply delivered a Bond that was more accurate to the novel than any other Bond actor, with the exception of a couple of Sean Connery's scenes. You can debate in the comments whether that makes for a better movie Bond.
Point is, Timothy Dalton brought a dark and rebellious streak to Bond that was 20 years ahead of its time. His Bond was dirty, complex, and because of those traits, compelling. He was a hair away from being declared a sociopath, but that's all an audience needs, especially these days, and it only added to his mystery and badassery.
And speaking of these days, Daniel Craig owes almost everything to Timothy Dalton. Whether he based parts of his performance on Dalton or not, it must be said that those movies paved the way for a darker, cynical Bond. And when you look back at The Living Daylights and License to Kill, unspoiled by Craig's portrayal, you see a Bond who could thrive in today's cultural space.
"A sequel, you say? AND it's darker and edgier? Gentlemen...we'll make trillions."
Dalton essentially did what Daniel Craig did, but 20 years early: he brought Bond back to his literary roots, making him more of a complex and conflicted cold-blooded killer. And god DAMN if it wasn't awesome with BOTH actors.
But how come Dalton's take is reviled? Two words, people: "mood whiplash".
Let's set the Wayback Machine for 1987. The last two Bond movies to come out were Octopussy and A View To A Kill. The first one featured Roger Moore defusing a nuclear bomb in a clown suit, and the second one featured him defeating Christopher Walken in an old man suit.
Oh...wait...ohhhh...
The producers of the Bond series bring on Timothy Dalton. A serious Shakespearean actor, who decides to take the character back to his literary roots. Even with some of the more traditionally goofy gadget trappings of The Living Daylights, Dalton's Bond was as different from Moore's as night from day. The movie-going public of the day was asked to swallow a Bond who would kill like it weren't no thang, and was dark enough to tell M off while still gambling with Gimli's life.
And the contrast was only made worse with License to Kill, where Bond becomes (magnificently) crazed on revenge, and demonstrates why no one in the world should even DREAM about fucking with him. But when compared to the long-standing feel of Roger Moore's tenure (he retired after 12 years, when he was 58 years old), Dalton's Bond must have seemed like a rude and sudden swerve. It's like if Batman Begins had been released right after Batman Forever and Batman and Robin, when the movie-going public had been used to and (mostly) approved of a lighter, sillier take on a beloved character. You can bet that they'd react with a big, hearty "What the fuck?"
"As I hear it, the ice age killed the dinosaurs."
I can imagine that word of mouth greatly contributed to sinking the reputations of Dalton's movies as it has George Lazenby's...one movie. And as fathers told sons and friends told friends that Dalton's movies were bad, they slowly faded into Untouchable status. But the time has come to rediscover them. Ours is an ambiguous time, and our heroes are gray. Our Bond is not the patriotic man with a Union Jack parachute that Bonds of the past were.
If this had been an American flag, even back then they'd be laughing their asses off.
Moore's and Connery's Bonds were queen and country all the way, hurrah hurrah and rule Britannia. They were a product of their time and political climate. Brosnan's Bond was similarly patriotic, but probably more out of nostalgia for Cold War days gone by.
This is probably why Dalton's Bond was such an anomaly...his Bond didn't give one fuck for duty or the British Empire. He was in the spy game because he didn't know anything else, and because it hadn't pissed him off enough yet. And when it did, he went rogue, and spurned his mother country to avenge his only friend, telling the rules, "Sod off, this is for me." For an 80's audience used to the simplistic morality of Moore's 007, this was probably the most bitter pill of all, and they didn't know it yet.
In a way, Bond's like Captain America or Superman, in that you always expect him to fight for the first world and the ways of violence, booze, and women.
The "S" is for "Seagram's".
Then suddenly Dalton's Bond does something for himself, against the patriotism and the system he's become a symbol for. And even if the character growth is organic and makes perfect sense for any other person in the same situation, it riles people. It slightly disturbs them, because Bond isn't any other person, he's a poster-boy.
But for me, that gets boring, as it does when I read Captain America and Superman. Thankfully, Timothy Dalton isn't any other Bond.
And that's why I fucking love him.
This is genius and hilarious, more like these.
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