Call of Duty: Raging Boners

I can practically hear war nerds poppin' em across the free world with the release of this trailer for Act of Valor:

Apparently, real Navy SEALS play the characters in this, and it all looks incredibly authentic. I predict that the shot of a SEAL in the water catching a guy to prevent his falling from making a sound will become an iconic image in the annals of cinematic war.

This...Is From Matilda...

Actually, THIS is from Enterbay toys, via Topless Robot:

I cannot express in words how cool it is that he comes with THE MILK. THE MILK!! 


PS, if you're reading this blog, and haven't seen Léon: The Professional, go out. Watch it. You'll thank me. Fun fact: the director of The Fifth Element made Léon while waiting for the special effects and post-production to finish on Element.

That's right. Léon? 

That was him fucking around.

The Real Q

I stumbled across this very cool io9 article about a BBC short featuring Sean Connery introducing the guns of James Bond, which is here:

God. Man knew how to rock a suit.

Visual Viagra

That's this trailer for Indonesian action movie The Raid:

Every frame is like a fucking cluster fragmentation rocket grenade, exploding your eyes full of red-hot razor-sharp ACTION. This trailer gives guns ERECTIONS.

And I think it's about time we had a ball-busting, hole-fucking, rip-roaring hip-shooting old-fucking-school action movie to teach the current crop how it's done. Hint: REAL STUNTS.

SECOND HINT: GUN BONERS.

Double Standards

Check 'em.

It's almost a damn joke. A Baltimore cop who shoots an unarmed man while off duty, KILLING HIM, gets 15 years in prison.

Meanwhile, a guy in Baltimore who shoots at police officers, NOT HITTING THEM, mind you, gets 5 consecutive life sentences, 6 concurrent life sentences, 80 years consecutive and 38 years concurrent, with no chance of parole for 65 years.

Shootin' at cops is bad, m'kay? But it doesn't make you Hitler Mk. II, and that (or remaking Casablanca) is the only thing I would consider worthy of 11 LIFE SENTENCES and 118 more years after that.

It's gotta be a joke. Our reality must be part of some satirical work, because there's no way that's actually a thing. I refuse to believe our justice system is that insane.