Fokker? I 'ardly KNOW her!

If you've ever wanted to pretend that your motorcycle is actually a transforming fighter jet (DON'T YOU LIE TO ME), this helmet is for you:

Make-believe that you're a kid's first experience with traumatic main character death and buy this helmet at HLJ today!

You don't understand...

...this is the coolest thing that's ever happened:

Steve Jobs, Schmeve Schmobs. This is fucking Iron Man technology right here.

Whenever I see just really, ridiculously awesome and wondrous stuff like this, stuff that is clearly just for the exuberant, undending love of invention, it makes me wonder what the hell some people have against science. Especially in movies. Everyone's always like, "WHY WOULD YOU GENETICALLY ENGINEER" or "YOU MADE A ROBOT, YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE PLAYED GOD" but no one's ever mad that they get a new iPad this quarter.

Call of Duty: Raging Boners

I can practically hear war nerds poppin' em across the free world with the release of this trailer for Act of Valor:

Apparently, real Navy SEALS play the characters in this, and it all looks incredibly authentic. I predict that the shot of a SEAL in the water catching a guy to prevent his falling from making a sound will become an iconic image in the annals of cinematic war.

This...Is From Matilda...

Actually, THIS is from Enterbay toys, via Topless Robot:

I cannot express in words how cool it is that he comes with THE MILK. THE MILK!! 


PS, if you're reading this blog, and haven't seen Léon: The Professional, go out. Watch it. You'll thank me. Fun fact: the director of The Fifth Element made Léon while waiting for the special effects and post-production to finish on Element.

That's right. Léon? 

That was him fucking around.

More Facebook Changes!

God. He's gone too far this time. Zuckerberg's like Stalin, revising Facebook, not telling anyone, then acting as if nothing's changed. What is the latest unparalleled atrocity?

I guess he's doing some kind of augmented reality deal, but these new "like" and "dislike" buttons just strike me as completely cumbersome and impossible to use:

I mean, REALLY. How does he expect us to use this without, ONE, getting ink all over our computers, and TWO, without mucking up the real world in blue ink!? Granted, our ability to "like" is no longer limited to things on the interwebs. I'll give him that. But it just seems like it's asking for mad "liking" sprees across the face of reality. 

And "disliking" things IRL? You'd better hope that ink isn't permanent...it would be like some kind of 21st-century Scarlet Letter. "Disliked" once, and EVERYONE can still see the fateful letters splayed across your skin...or your business...or your dog.

Anyway, I guess now that I think about it, it has some benefits, but I just really liked the previous Facebook iteration more. Call me old-fashioned. 

But let's just thank our lucky stars that these "like" and "dislike" stamps are the only new Facebook changes. Because otherwise, there would be HELL TO PAY. I would definitely use one of these stamps to DISlike it. Actually...now that I'm thinking about it, they're sounding better and better...

Just A Neat Little Doodad...

Mash-ups, man. I don't know what it is about this time period, but we're full of them. The good ones are clever, or funny, or pay loving homage, but the BEST ones transcend the original source materials into something new and wondrous. Something you never thought would happen, but you're so glad it did.

That's why I love this hhhhuuuuge remix of 39 different songs by Madeon. It shouldn't work. It should be a train wreck, if the trains were full of live chickens and fireworks. But its not...it's just awesome. Check it out:

Visual Viagra

That's this trailer for Indonesian action movie The Raid:

Every frame is like a fucking cluster fragmentation rocket grenade, exploding your eyes full of red-hot razor-sharp ACTION. This trailer gives guns ERECTIONS.

And I think it's about time we had a ball-busting, hole-fucking, rip-roaring hip-shooting old-fucking-school action movie to teach the current crop how it's done. Hint: REAL STUNTS.

SECOND HINT: GUN BONERS.

Subtlety.

This poster has it.

This is a teaser poster for Captain America: The First Avenger made by Alex4everdn on DeviantArt. It's just so incredibly understated. Nowadays posters are all sparks and floating heads, but there's something so incredibly cool and tense about this poster. Not just because the men in the boat are about to storm the beachhead at Normandy: there is also tension between the realistic-looking but still flashy shield and the rough, ready men crowding the craft.

It's just such a fantastically simple and subtle idea for a poster, and I'm sorry Marvel didn't think about it. But you can bet your ass Alex4everdn did.

I'm sorry. You can stop now. It's over.

This is the coolest thing that will ever happen:

If you're a movie fan and don't follow the Behind the Scenes Pic of the Day on Aint It Cool News, you are doing yourself a tremendous disservice. But even worse than that, you would have missed what may be the most badass image ever captured by a mortal.

Lemme break it down.

Ya gotcher filming of Yojimbo in the background. Yojimbo is the movie that A Fistful of Dollars remade. It involves a samurai with medicine-balls for testicles strolling into town and single-handedly destroying two criminal empires by playing them off each other like the most magnificent bastard alive.

Now, that samurai is played by the immortal Toshiro Mifune. Chances are, if you've heard of only ONE Japanese actor, it was him. And there's good reason: not only is he very talented as an actor, but his characters are simply some of the pimpingest badasses ever to be filmed. In that way, he's a lot like Clint Eastwood, who played the analogue of Mifune's Yojimbo character in the "Man With No Name" trilogy.

 And they both have squinty eyes. Wait, OH GOD NO HOW DO I DELETE-

So you've got an iconic badass, an iconic movie. But that's not what makes this the raddest pic in the universe. No, Mifune couldn't be photographed doing something normal, like farting, or reading the script. Nope. They filmed him behind the wheel of his MG. Top down. In samurai garb.

Normally, that'd be enough to seal the deal. But what's on his dash? A mother-fucking shit-kicking SAMURAI SWORD.

Know what's on my dash? Dust.

And the best part? The look on his face looks like he's going to 7-11. Like he's off to kill a thousand men, but is totally bored at the prospect. He hangs up the phone and says to the director, "Shit. Well...I'll be back." And just tosses his sword on the dash like it's his fucking Blackberry.

Christ...this fucking guy, man.