Whargarbl 4: Live Free or Garbl Whar, or, My Long-Belated Thoughts on "Man of Steel"

As a follow-up to my incredibly virulent defense of Ben Affleck, I thought I'd also do a post about Man of Steel, the recent reprequeboot of the Superman franchise. I know it's been a while since it came out, but there was plenty of butthurt and there still is regarding some of the plot, and I've been on a running butthurt theme lately. Not to mention several blogs and websites this week have featured Zack Snyder's defense of the calamitous destruction of Metropolis in the climax of the movie.

I liked Man of Steel. At times, I loved it. At times, I think Henry Cavill perfectly captured the spirit of classic Superman if he was met with real-world situations. The scene that comes to mind is when he gives himself up to the military. Now, let me explain something about Superman, which will be referenced several times: Superman is crazy powerful. How crazy? Throughout all of the continuity resets DC did, he's been shown to shrug off nuclear strikes. Before the 80's continuity reboot Crisis on Infinite Earths (the grand-daddy of all “event” miniseries) he was even shown moving planets around.

WHARGARBL 3: GARBL WHAR With A Vengeance

It's been a while since I've done a WHARGARBL post, but I guess it's been a while since there's been a WHARGARBL on the internet so powerful and unjustified that I felt the need to address it. Until today. And I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually ashamed of people on the internet right now.

I didn't think I could feel shame anymore for what people say or do on the internet...it's basically pointless. I mean, we're all at least conceptually aware of what Penny Arcade termed the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory (G.I.F.T. for short). G.I.F.T. says that if you give a normal person anonymity and an audience, they turn into a cancerous fuckwad. It's why little boys on Xbox Live whose balls haven't even dropped feel confident in reminding me the number of times they've had prolonged sexual intercourse with various members of my family. It's practically a daily part of internet life. But a very special outbreak of butthurt and assholery is currently soaring through the internet today.

Ladies...

Woof. I'm not gay, but...woof. This is one chiseled, beautiful chunk of man:

There's more at CraveOnline. And these pictures settle it: those shots of him in the suit were ALL HIM. Christopher Reeves, as brilliant as he was, wasn't exactly possessed of godlike physique. And Brandon Routh was adequate. But these pictures...that is a SUPERMAN.

DO YOU NOT BELIEVE A MAN CAN FLY?!?

Ohhhh, Russell Crowe. First of all, totally forgot he was supposed to play Superman's father, Jor-El, in the upcoming Man of Steel.

Secondly, here are the first pictures of his costume! I actually really dig the whole "armor" look to it, and the textures and colors look pretty awesome while tying it into Superman's costume:

WHARGARBL 2: The GARBLing

So, you may have read my post on the internet flamewar around Superman's undies.

Well, now we have a clearer picture of the outfit courtesy of the Man of Steel Facebook page.

Now, as you can imagine, the dreaded butthurt virus has so far raged unchecked. At the time of this writing, however, you can see various posters start to concede that costumes change over time, and it really isn't all that bad. Actually, I'll admit, I'm kind of in love with the new suit. It adds just enough detail and ribbing to look kind of alien and interesting, but keeps the classic color scheme and lines of the suit (except for the crimson pantaloons, of course). It doesn't look like a man in pajamas anymore...it looks like something an alien prince would wear, and that's awesome.

Also, may I say? I didn't think he looked like a good Superman as far as his face went in the first picture they released...but goddamn if the boy isn't the spitting image of the comic book Supes in these pictures. Now if only the story is up to snuff...

WHARGARBL

I think I'll just make that the title for posts like this from now on. You see, it is a time of great nerd rage on the internet. Superman's costume has been changed.

Again.